The Writing Songstress

I really don't know what to think anymore!

There's this weird attitude of mine, that I would easily fall for someone. I know, it's so mainstream and so yesterday-ish, but actually, it's a fact of my life. If I find someone I like, I usually try to get close to them, get to know them, and all other stuff. I try to seem pleasing to them, impress them(if i must, lol) up to a point that I'm developing a certain, stronger, 'feeling' towards them. Then later on, when I've already have this 'strong feeling' for them, I become uneasy. Then, maybe a week or so, I'd always end up breaking my heart after hearing from them that they liked someone else, or they're engaged or has a girlfriend or doesn't like me as more as a friend - FRIENDZONED, yea probably, but I don't know what to think anymore. 

I have this loose screw in my head, and this happens all the time. Of course, the feelings does not grow overnight, it gradually happens, but still, it does. No matter how hard I try to tell myself that I should not. 

Probably, I'm a walking example of the saying from a person I forgot, "If one does not learn from his past, he is doomed to repeat it." It took me ages to understand what this meant, and now I do, I really do. 

To learn I have to go through the hard, painful way. But after the pains and aches, and I've slowly picked my self up and promised to never ever do that again, I'm back at square one again when another opportunity arises. 

Hope, I would finally learn when to stop. I wish I would know what to do in dire situations wherein correct judgement and discretion must be applied. I wish I know, so I'd no longer be a fool, entangled from the mistakes I scratch upon the pages of my past. 

*Slaps self* Learn! Learn! Learn!